Except for forbearance in smaller matters, it is never right to just forgive and forget. The Biblical response to forgive and forget has often been mistaught. When the Bible says that God forgets our sins, “forget” is used as a metaphor. God is not forgetful. In fact He records a lot of forgiven sin in the Bible. However He does remove sin as an obstacle between us and Him through the cross of Christ when we confess and repent. He doesn’t literally put it in the deepest sea, or divide it as far as the east is from the west, but He does cancel the debt and will not hold it over our heads.

We are called to remember and chose to give the grace of forgiveness to the repentant, just as God does. We are commonly led to believe that if we still feel hurt by what was done to us, then we apparently haven’t forgiven. We are also told that if we still feel angry at the person who did us harm, then underlying the anger is an indication that we have not forgiven. If you are no longer hurt by the wrong that was done to you, you will lack empathy and sorrow that can be translated into real care for yourself and others, and you will end up becoming dead emotionally. Your pain keeps your heart tender. Secondly, given what has been done to you, anger over what happened should be present in you. Your anger, channeled in the right direction, can provide strength for you. Through your own pain and anger, you have the opportunity to become more like Christ…as you grow in tenderness and strength. Third, a desire for justice will enable you to be able to see structures of the human heart and help institutions change for the good. A desire for justice will grow in you a commitment to see change in your heart and in the lives of others. However, if you are seeking personal vengeance for what happened to you, you have exceeded the limit of your responsibility.